You Know You’re Supposed to Create—But You’re Scared. Read This.

Yes I'm talking to you my fellow creative.

Dear Creative Soul,

Thanks for coming to this little nook of the internet.

Seriously…

I know you could be doing a lot of different things right now and I don’t take that lightly.

I also know that if you’re here you are a person with a lot of creative energy swirling around inside of you waiting to be let out - but you’re scared.

Or don’t know where to start.

Or it’s a combination of the two.

And you are not alone! :)

Courage doesn't mean you're not scared. It's the ability to act in spite of fear.

There have been so many times in my life when I’ve been afraid.

When I was a gymnast in my early years I was afraid I was going to die or end up in the hospital every single day of practice. Thankfully it only happened once in the 10 years I was a gymnast - and it had to do with Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time Series. But more on that later.

Moving on.

I was afraid when I accepted to this prestigious actor's program in Louisville, Kentucky in college and then….

God told me not to go.

I’m afraid now—leaning into my art and sharing the deeper parts of myself with the world.

As I continue to be vulnerable in my writing I feel scared at times but choosing to do so just might be the thing that helps someone else break free from what’s keeping them from their true identity.

Despite the fears, deep down, I believe that if I do this—if I obey God—He will use it to bring me into a life where I don't have to worry about money anymore. A life of provision, peace, and purpose.

Can you see me affording amazing writing exotic retreats for all my creative friends?

That includes you dear reader!

Imagine…

The amazing views…

The sound of the ocean waves as we sit on the beach typing away amazing stories on our laptops…

The cheers as we accept our Oscars…

Ahem…coming back to reality.

Obedience to God requires courage for several reasons.

We can’t see all the pieces.

God doesn’t give us the full plan all at once. He knows if he gives us the whole map at once, we are likely to say “Peace out Holy Spirit. I got it from here thank you very much!” and run off into the sunset….in the wrong direction!

And that’s just the physical - we can’t even see the spiritual risks unless God allows us to. He’s weaving together so many pieces—not just in our lives, but in the lives of the people connected to our destiny.

When you think about it, obedience requires something deeper than courage. It requires faith.

What is faith really?

Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

That word "substance" in Greek is hypostasis.

It means a setting under, a foundation—something firm and real.

Faith isn’t just some floating concept; it’s the actual matter that makes something exist. It’s the essence of what makes some thing real.

Think about it like this.

The smallest known particles are quarks.

However, some theoretical models, like string theory, propose that all particles, including quarks, are composed of smaller, one-dimensional objects called strings.

And I’m sure one day science will find something smaller than strings.

Maybe they’ll be called “dots”. :)

But for now let’s go with the vibrating string particles as the smallest particle of matter.

So imagine faith = vibrating string particles.

Fatih is the substance or the essence of things hoped for. It is the evidence or indicating whether a belief is true or valid.

Faith is not only the actual matter or essence that makes something exist - it’s the proof that your belief is valid.

It’s as if our faith has the ability to pull something from the unseen realm into the physical realm.

And the crazy thing is that it can go both ways. It can fuel our faith in God or our faith in fear.

I’ve had to live that out this past year as I wrestled with my faith.

I was afraid to even go on the journey of asking questions about my faith.

The fear had me acting like a scared puppy I once saw that ran into the street. It was so panicked by the moving cars, it ran back and forth darting through the traffic like - well - a scared puppy.

Because of the fear, it couldn’t see the woman standing in the middle of the road to calling it over towards safety.

Just like that puppy, I was darting every which way thinking I was going to die and go to hell if I ever dared to let my mind ask questions.

But one day I thought to myself maybe I’m wrong for suppressing my questions.

Maybe I don’t need to fight them.

Maybe it was the other way around. Maybe on the other side was something richer and deeper.

So I let go.

Remember that scared puppy in the street? How the woman had stepped out in the middle of the street to gently call the puppy over—not to scold her, but to scoop her up and carry her to safety.

That’s how Jesus was with me. I had to come close to Him to feel safe enough to even ask the hard questions.

It’s a process.

Even now, the idea of pivoting away from work-for-hire production and leaning more into my artistic gifts is scary—because the business side of it doesn’t feel as clear.

But when I think about staying on track, it’s this quiet knowing that keeps me going.

Underneath all the waves of doubt and fear, there’s a foundation. There’s peace.

I’m going to be honest - when it comes to my creativity I don’t always get on the Holy Spirit train as fast as I want to.

When He speaks to me about next steps - they’re usually outside of my comfort zone. And to be honest, there are times that I wrestle with God when He asks me to do something that scares me.

I think that the wrestling - is me asking Jesus to make it make sense.

I hope I can get to the place where I don’t even ask for clarification and I just take action.

But like I said earlier in the Heading 3 phrase - It’s a process. :)

Right now, I feel like God is asking me to be an artist. To not get distracted. To stop trying to prove myself for validation.

Just be who He made me.

I also feel like everything I’ve gone through these past few years was to fortify my mind in Christ.

It’s been a hard few years—mentally, physically and spiritually.

I’m sure you have had those seasons in life as well.

And now He’s asking me to hold steady in my mind. To keep the fortress up when doubt creeps in.

I’ve already said yes with my whole heart.

Now it’s about being vigilant with my everyday choices.

It’s about being careful what I say yes to.

It’s having the courage to be obedient even when something looks good but isn’t God.

What I wish someone had told me.

Your job is not to prove your worth. Your job is to get to know your true identity.

I used to think I needed more education to feel confident.

And sometimes, yes, God called me to learn—like when He told me to get my Master’s and then provided for it (‘cause my exact words were “Lord if you want me to go you gotta pay for it!)

But when it comes to art, there is no set path. There’s no formula.

You have to define success for yourself. What does it look like? What does it feel like on the way to it?

You need to know what you bring to the table and what sets you apart.

Because your unique voice matters. It’s what the world needs.

That’s the secret most artists and entertainers had to figure out for themselves.

They had to figure out what was their unique selling point.

Think about it.

The thing that makes Rihanna different is what people love (or hate) about her now. Her style, her realness, her fearlessness. Same with Beyonce, Snoop Dog, Michael Jackson, Ryan Coogler, Serena Williams, Queen Latifa, and the list goes on.

Be careful of distractions

This is the hardest one to navigate in my opinion. And not just because I have been diagnosed with ADHD.

It’s so easy as creatives to entertain thoughts of “what if…”.

In one sense it’s a great skill to be able to dream and think about new creative possibilities and avenues for a project to go.

But on the other hand your imagination can run away with you and take you down a road you don’t need to go.

Sometimes distractions are dangerous.

Remember when I told you I had to go to the hospital one day in gymnastics?

Well I was doing a bar routine and I was doing this move to get from the high bar to the low bar and hit my head because my mind wandered at the worst. moment. possible!

I was in mid-air!!!!!

Turns out I was thinking about the latest chapter I read in the series the night before.

It started with a release move and ended with me being strapped to a board in my leotard and taken by ambulance to the hospital.

I’m pretty sure the skid marks from my mom’s tires are still etched into the gym’s parking lot.

Don’t get distracted.

Don’t get distracted with your time, your money or your energy.

Know your mission and run everything through the filter of your mission.

Develop the ability to hear and obey God’s voice.
He’s the best manager, agent, lawyer, and strategist. Nobody is better.

It might feel easier to trust a person you can see, but the truth is—it's better to wait for God to send the right person than to take the wrong one out of fear or impatience. The stress of being outside of God’s timing? Not worth it.

You don’t have to be Everything EverywhereAll At Once.

You only need to be where God is asking you to be.
You only need to be who God called you to be.
And the best place you can be? Present.

So if you're standing at the edge of your "yes"... I get it. I’ve been there.
Here’s what I’d say to you:
Voice your fears to God. Be real. And then—take the leap.

There’s this moment in the movie Onward where the brothers have to cross a giant canyon using a magic spell that creates an invisible bridge. But it only appears as they take a step.

Ian, the younger brother, has to step out onto what looks like nothing.

But because he believes—the steps appear out of no where and he is able to take steps forward.

Click to watch the 60 second clip.

Faith can feel like that. You have to step even when you can’t see the bridge.
But because of faith—the next step will be there.

I’m on this journey with you.
Dija